


Wildflowers [indefinite hiatus]

by CrybabyRobot



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, M/M, Romance, Slow Build, Tattoo/Flower Shop AU, Tragedy, i don't really know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrybabyRobot/pseuds/CrybabyRobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Craig Tucker thought he would never see the small town of South Park ever again. He moved out with Tweek, a kid who was tired of living up to everyone's expectations.</p><p>They moved to a new city where no one knew anything about them. And there, they opened up a flower shop together. It was something Tweek had always wanted to do, and though Craig didn't quite suit the colorful floral, they were happy.</p><p>Now, after an accident that leaves Craig grieving, he's convinced by his best friend, Clyde, to move back.</p><p>After constant pestering, he reopens the flower shop, just across the street from the tattoo parlor.</p><p>Kenny McCormick is a kid that went nowhere. Unlike most of his friends that went off to college, he stayed and opened up a tattoo parlor.</p><p>When Craig moves back, Kenny can't help but notice how he seems depressed compared to the teenager that left town with his best friend two years prior. He wants to know why he's back so suddenly, and without Tweek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terrible at starting stories, so please just bear with me.
> 
> Also, this is my first story that I'll be posting on AO3, so it's a bit weird to get used to.

Clyde nudged me as we pulled to a stop. I opened my eyes with a yawn.

"We're here," he said unbuckling his seatbelt. I sat up and did the same.

I stretched as I stepped out of the car, breathing in the mountain air I had almost forgotten about. Still, I didn't miss South Park in the time I was gone.

Clyde unlocked the trunk and began pulling boxes out. "Might as well get started now."

We carried a couple boxes in at a time. It hadn't taken long at all to get my belongings inside. I didn't have much to bring.

I followed Clyde into the kitchen, like a lost puppy. I wasn't sure what to do. I had never even made an effort see him, yet he acted as if nothing ever changed between us. I couldn't thank him enough for that.

A bright pink post-it note was stuck to the fridge. Clyde picked it up and read over it then tossed it in the trash. "Bebe went to the grocery store. She'll be back soon." I nodded in response. "You want something to eat? We were driving for quite a while," he offered.

"I'm not hungry," I answered simply.

He let out a sigh and decided not to press further. He knew I wouldn't open up if I didn't want to. I would eventually, and even if it wouldn't be any time soon, he accepted that.

I studied the flowers in a blue vase on the table. They were daisies, a common flower for people to keep in their home. They were Tweek's favorite because they're a simple flower. He had never been the type of person to like anything extravagant. I felt an ache in my chest and the urge to cry for what seemed like the billionth time in the past month.

Clyde waved a hand in front of my face, bringing me back to reality.

"Sorry, did you say something?" I asked.

He looked concerned, but repeated his previous sentence. "Would you mind helping Bebe and I unload groceries?"

I shook my head. "I'm going to go unpack a little before she gets back." I wasn't really going to unpack. I just couldn't stand being in there.

I let myself fall onto the bed as soon as I reached the room. "I miss him so much," I said shakily to myself, tears beginning to blur my vision.

I don't know how long I cried, but it wasn't until just before Bebe had gotten home that I calmed down. When I finished trying to get rid of all the red puffiness around my eyes, I heard Clyde call my name. I hoped I didn't look like death as I went back downstairs.

As soon as I reached the doorway of the kitchen, Bebe came to hug me. Her heels clicked across the tile floor and her arms were soon around my neck, pulling me down to her level. The hug seemed to last forever even though it was only a few moments.

"It's great to see you again. I'm sorry it had to be like this," she said sadly.

I didn't respond. I hated that it seemed like everything revolved around Tweek's death.

We started putting the groceries away, and it was done within a few minutes. 

Bebe suggested watching a movie together so that we could wind down from our trip. We agreed and I was allowed to pick the movie. I chose a random comedy in hopes it would take my mind off things. The jokes were mediocre and the acting wasn't that great, but Bebe and Clyde seemed to enjoy it.

Afterwards, we ordered Chinese food and sat around the table catching up.

"Dude, I can't believe you opened a flower shop. It's so...unlike you," Clyde said.

I laughed. "Yeah, you could say that again. It was Tweek's idea."

"Well, I think it's cute," Bebe interjects. "How did he manage to convince you?"

"He could bring me to my knees without lifting a finger if he wanted to. I would've done anything for him..." My voice cracked a bit, and I quickly cleared my throat.

No, no. It's fine. Think happy, think of the good things, I scolded myself.

Bebe and Clyde didn't seem to notice as they carried on the conversation. "You should open up the shop here. There's a vacant building across from the tattoo parlor," Bebe proposed.

I shook my head. "It wouldn't be the same," I said melancholically. "But since when does South Park have a tattoo parlor?"

"Since we graduated high school," Clyde answered.

"Really? Who owns it?"

"Kenny. He's pretty popular, too."

I nodded. It wasn't hard to imagine. I just didn't know he was an artist.

"But still, you should think about opening the shop here. I'm sure people will love it," Bebe said.

"You're not going to let that go, are you?" I asked. She shook her head. "Great." If there's one thing that Bebe and I have in common, it's that we're both stubborn. I didn't doubt that she would stop at nothing to get me to open up shop again. "I'll think about it," I lied.

She looked delighted, then changed the topic, figuring she had pried enough. "You must be tired from traveling. Why don't we all get some rest?"

"Sounds great to me." We washed up our dishes and cleaned the kitchen before turning in for the night.

xxx

I saw Tweek, and nothing or no one else. He was bloodied and battered. I reached out for him, calling his name. No response. I ran closer but it felt like my body was made of cement. I screamed his name until my throat burned and tears streamed down my cheeks.

Suddenly, I was on my knees next to him. Red and blue lights were flashing all around. Our car flipped into a ditch, another car not far from it. A man was being hauled into an ambulance. Paramedics were trying to pull me away, but I clung to Tweek, trying to get him toward up, to speak to me.

My head hurt, and I felt like I was going to throw up, but I didn't care. I just wanted Tweek to be okay.

xxx

I gasped for air, my heart racing as I sat up. I called his name. Tears were running down my cheeks again. Clyde and Bebe soon came to see what was wrong.

Clyde sat next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms. I hid my face in the space where his neck met his shoulder.

"I miss him so much," I choked out between sobs.

He rubbed circles into my back. "I know...It's going to be okay," he whispered. He kept telling me this until I finally stopped crying and pulled away.

I refused to meet their eyes. I knew they both had the same worried expression that everyone got when they looked at me. I used my sleeves to wipe my face before I got out of bed and brushed past Bebe to wash my face in the bathroom.

I caught a glance at myself in the mirror, realizing I looked as dead as I felt. Red splotches covered my cheeks and tear tracks ran down my face. Dark circles were prominent under my eyes. Sighing, I turned on the cold water and bent over, splashing it into my face.

Someone came and knocked on the doorway. "Can I come in?" It was Bebe. I reluctantly nodded, turning off the tap. She got on her tip toes and pulled me into a hug. Even when I tried to push her away, she wouldn't let go. "I won't force you to talk about this, but please just know that we're here for you," she mumbled, finally pulling away. "Try to get some sleep."

"You too. Sorry to wake you."

"Don't be sorry. We agreed to help you and that's exactly what we'll do." She gave me a soft smile and left the room to go back to bed with Clyde.

I glanced at the alarm clock on the night stand. The green numbers read that it was nearly four in the morning. I wondered if I would get back to sleep.

Overall, I had only gotten a few hours of sleep. I tossed and turned, had a nightmare - or rather, remembered the events from not long ago - then tossed and turned some more. The next morning, I was utterly exhausted. It was just past noon when I finally trudged downstairs for something to eat.

Clyde briefly glanced up from some show he was watching, but didn't pay much attention to me. Bebe greeted me as I entered the kitchen.

"I just finished making lunch, and I was about to go wake you up," she said. "It's nothing too special, just a grilled cheese."

I thanked her before taking the plate and sitting at the table. I ate slowly, my mind clouded as I recounted last night's events. I snapped back to reality when Bebe ran her hand in front of my face a few times.

"Jesus, I know you're sleepy but I haven't seen you like this since exam week our senior year."

"Sorry, just got a lot on my mind," I said, a generic excuse. It wasn't a lie, though.

"Yeah, I can tell." She briefly paused. "Do you want to, like, see a therapist or something? It couldn't hurt. They could probably help you more than me and Clyde."

I quickly shook my head. I knew about the therapists in South Park. They had fucked with Tweek's head so many times, and I wouldn't let them do it to me.

"Alright, chill. It was just a suggestion," she said. "Anyways, I'm going to meet Red and Wendy later. Would you like to come with me? I know a girl's day wouldn't be all that exciting for you, but it's better than being here. Clyde just sits in front of the TV all day, so he's not entertaining at all." She shot a glare in his direction, but he was completely oblivious.

I shrugged. "Neither option sounds very interesting, but I guess I'll go." I figured it would be good to get out of the house instead of isolating myself like I had been doing for the past month.

After I finished eating, I got dressed and tried to look as presentable as possible. A few hours later, we left.

We we met Red and Wendy at the South Park Mall. Nothing had changed since I left town. The girls seemed to enjoy shopping and dragging me around. They included me as best they could, asking my opinion on things and pointing out stuff they think I may like.

Sometime during our mall trip, I separated from the group. Of course, I let Bebe know first. She was already worried sick about me, even if she didn't act like it, and there was no need to worry her more.

I decided to take a walk through town, simply killing time as I tried to pick out any of the small changes in things. The only thing that had changed was City Wok. It had a new owner, but it was still how I remembered it.

As I passed Tweak Bros., my heart clenched. Keep walking, Tucker, I told myself, repeating it over and over until the small coffee shop was completely out of sight.

I looked around, realizing I was near Stark's Pond. Dusk was creeping closer, and I suddenly felt compelled to watch the sun set over it like I used to. So, that's exactly what I did.

It was empty and quiet. I sat on the dock, my feet dangling over the water. The sun began to dip below the mountains and out of sight. The pitch black canvas of the night sky began to show, stars glowing bright over the small mountain town I once called home.

I laid back to stare up at the sky, the air leaving my lungs as I reveled in its beauty.

"If only you were here..." I mumbled. "I like to think you became one of those hundreds of millions of stars up there." I knew it was pointless to say this. Tweek was gone. Nothing would change that. Still, I missed him. I loved him so much, but he was taken from me in one fell swoop because of a stupid fucking drunk driver.

I heard footsteps on the dock and I looked up to see a pale, freckled blond staring down at me. I recognized him after a few moments. It was Kenny McCormick. He seemed confused for a moment before he cracked a smile.

"Beautiful, ain't it?" Kenny asked.

I nodded, sitting up. I checked the time on my phone and let out a sigh when I saw Bebe and Clyde had been trying to call me.

"Sorry to break up this reunion, but I've gotta do this." I called Bebe back, no she picked up on the second ring.

"Craig, are you okay? It's getting late," she said worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I watched the sun set at Stark's Pond and I just lost track of time. No big deal."

I could hear her sigh on the other end. "Please come back soon."

"I will. Bye."

I didn't wait for her reply as I hung up. She could lecture me more when I got home.

Kenny was staring at me with a confused expression. I simply shrugged. "See you around, I guess. I've gotta go," I said.

He gave a small wave before taking my place on the dock. I still felt as if he were staring at me as he walked off. He had always had a tendency to stare. It was a bit creepy, honestly, since he used to never speak, and when he did, it was something perverted.

The trek home was thirty minutes at the most. I smelled dinner cooking as I opened the door.

Bebe and Clyde seemed relieved as I sat down on the couch.

"Dinner will be ready soon. We're having tacos since Clyde begged me to make them," Bebe said from the kitchen.

Dinner was a repeat of the night before; reminiscing, telling stories, catching up, stuff like that.

I didn't feel out of place like I thought I would when they offered me a place to stay. I felt like nothing had changed. They accepted me, and they wanted to help me despite the fact that I had been a shitty friend since I left South Park. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to settle down in South Park again.


	2. Familiar Faces

The sun was just barely beginning to rise, but I was fully awake. I'd woken up hours before, sobbing. I didn't go back to sleep, and instead found things to do while I waited for everyone else to wake up.

I'd been back in South Park for a week and a half, and I was still finding it hard to adjust. Not just to life in the small mountain town, but also to living without Tweek. I used to always be around him, and I still caught myself turning to tell him things. It was a constant reminder that he would never be back.

As I watched the sun rise, deep in thought, I heard shuffling behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin as I turned to see a half-asleep Clyde walking into the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"Craig? What're you doin' up?" he mumbled.

"Just wanted to see the sun rise," I lied with a shrug. Though, I had to admit that I missed being able to see a clear, dark sky rather than one constantly lit up and cloudy.

He nodded, taking that as an explanation. "I was just about to get ready work." He seemed to be waking up more the longer he stood. He went to the coffee maker and switched it on.

_Oh right, that's a thing that normal adults do_ , I thought.

"Aren't you going to see your parents today?" he asked, stifling another yawn.

I nodded. "That's not until noon, though." Honestly, I was dreading it. I'd already gotten enough pity from people, and I didn't need more of it from my family.

My family had its weird way of getting along. We didn't particularly hate each other, but love sometimes seemed like too strong of a word. Regardless, we stuck together when it mattered most.

The last I'd heard from my parents was when they invited me over. That was the day after Tweek's funeral, when I was so overcome with grief that I couldn't even force myself to get out of bed. I hated to think of how pitiful I had become.

"Craig?" Clyde's voice pulled me from my thoughts again, making me nearly jump out of my skin.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"I asked if you're doing alright."

"Oh, uh, yeah. Just tired."

He seemed suspicious, but brushed it off, mumbling "if you say so." He disappeared from the kitchen, and a few minutes later I heard water running in the bathroom.

I turned away from the window and went to the fridge, opening it up. Since Bebe had gone to the grocery store not long ago, it was fully stocked.

_Might as well make myself useful_ , I thought, pulling a carton of eggs and a package of bacon from the fridge.

I went over to the stove, and got two pans from the cabinet above me, setting them on the stove. I then began cooking breakfast.

By the time Clyde was fully dressed, he came back into the kitchen. He inhaled deeply, letting out a loud sigh. "Smells great. What's cookin', good lookin'?" He asked.

"Just bacon and eggs," I said. "Sit down, I'm almost finished."

He did as told and I put the last of the bacon on a plate, then brought it all to the table. I sat down next to Clyde.

"I don't think I've seen you cook since home ec our freshman year. At least you didn't set anything on fire this time," Clyde pointed out.

"Oh, God, don't even mention that class." I buried my face in my hands. I'd managed to cause two fires that year, and Clyde would never let it go. He grinned at me and began eating.

"Well, it's definitely improved in taste, too. Almost as good as Bebe's cooking."

Not much was said after that. I ended up spacing out, and before I realized it, Clyde had left for work.

I stood from the table, gathering the plates. I glanced at the clock on my way to set them in the sink. It was just past eight.

_So now what? Bebe won't wake up for a couple more hours and I don't leave until noon, I thought. Maybe I should try to sleep again._

I went back to my room, and for the next few hours, I tossed and turned. When I finally drifted off, it wasn't for long.

I woke with a start to Bebe gently shaking my shoulder. "It's time to get up. You've gotta get dressed," she said once I opened my eyes.

I sat up reluctantly. "Fine. I guess I have no choice." I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and stood, stretching.

"Sleep well?" she asked.

I laughed dryly. "Not really."

That seemed to kill the mood, so I walked out of the room and to the bathroom. I turned on the shower, and when I returned to my bedroom to get clothes, Bebe had left.

By the time I had gotten ready, I didn't have much time to spare. Practically dragging myself around wasn't the best thing for time management.

Bebe stopped me just before I went out the door, wrapping me in a tight hug. "Stay safe, okay?"

"Yeah, of course." We stayed like that for a few moments before she finally pulled away. I gave her a reassuring smile and she returned it.

With that, I was on my way to my parents' house. It didn't take long to walk there, though I could have gone faster. I walked slowly, zoning out as I listened to my feet crunch against the snow and ice.

It was another dreary day. Gray clouds loomed in the sky, and the Colorado wind nipped at any exposed skin. Both hands were in my pockets in a futile attempt to keep them from going numb.

When I finally arrived at my parents' house, I rang the doorbell. My mother answered the door, and I was wrapped in her warm embrace before I had any time to process what was happening. Hesitantly, I returned the hug.

_What is it with people and hugging me?_ I wondered to myself.

She eventually pulled away, giving me that same concerned look that I had been getting lately. "Have you been eating properly? It feels like you've lost weight."

I shrugged. I hadn't really paid attention to the meals I ate. I felt empty most of the time, so eating and not eating didn't really affect me. She was probably right, though.

She gestured for me to come inside, shutting the door behind me. "You must be freezing. Did you walk here?"

"It's not that cold. It's a lot worse further north." It was weird being able to say that from experience.

"Thomas! Ruby! Come downstairs, Craig's here!" my mom called.

My sister was the first to come down, closely followed by my dad. "You look...dead," were the first words to come out of Ruby's mouth. As to be expected. Ruby used to be rather bratty, being the youngest and most spoiled of the family. As a result, even after maturing, she still had no filter. She always had been quite blunt.

My mom turned to glare at her.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," I said, rolling my eyes. Though, I was glad she wasn't tiptoeing around my feelings like everyone else.

Ruby simply shrugged in response, and Mom let out a sigh. "Lunch is nearly ready. Why don't you two set the table?"

It was a rhetorical question. So, Ruby and I followed Mom into the kitchen while Dad took a seat on the recliner.

I got the plates from the cabinet while Ruby grabbed silverware. It didn't take long at all since it wasn't anything particularly fancy, and there were only four of us.

Dad was called into the kitchen soon after and we all piled food onto our plates.

There was an air of silence as we ate, the only sounds being the clanking of our forks against the plates. I didn't blame them for having nothing to talk about. I hadn't talked to them in two years, and they probably didn't even know me anymore.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, I made the excuse that I was going to the bathroom.

The walls of the hallway leading to the bathroom were covered in pictures. One in particular caught my attention. It was a picture taken when I was in eighth grade. I had braces then. It was hard to miss them when I had such a ridiculously huge smile. Token, Clyde, and Tweek stood with me, mimicking my smile. We were stood out front of Tweak Bros., the local coffee shop owned by Tweek's family.

I felt a sudden pang in my chest. It was nostalgia hitting me, and I began to miss Tweek again. I took a deep breath, and shakily released it, forcing myself to look away from the picture before I started crying.

After checking my appearance in the bathroom mirror, I headed back downstairs. As I descended the stairs, I heard muffled voices. I leaded over the banister to eavesdrop.

My dad was speaking. "He left because of us, and you know it."

My mother spoke next. "Regardless of what happened two years ago, we have to be here for him. He needs us. He needs everyone right now."

_Do they blame themselves?_ I wondered. Sure, my parents weren't the greatest at times, but they weren't terrible. I guess leaving with Tweek and giving no reason whatsoever led people to make assumptions.

I continued into the kitchen, and their conversation immediately stopped. They all acted guilty. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

As I sat down at the table, Dad cleared his throat and spoke up. "So, how have you been settling?"

"Okay, I guess," I said with a shrug.

"Are you going to be applying for jobs anytime soon?"

"Probably. To be honest, though, I haven't worked an actual job since high school. I owned a flower shop with Tweek until recently." I couldn't help the crack in my voice at the mention of his name, but I ignored it and continued on. I would _not_ cry again.

Mom's eyes lit up at the mention of that. "That sounds lovely! Will you reopen here?"

I shrugged again. "Bebe wants me to, but I dunno."

"Well, I think you should at least consider it."

"Gaaaay," Ruby mumbled.

I elbowed her in the ribs. "You're just an asshole today, huh?"

My mom looked as if she would scold me, but then stopped herself. She could scold me all she wanted, but she didn't have much authority over me anymore.

"I've been thinking of ways to annoy you since you left," she said, giving me an innocent smile.

I glanced over at my mom to see her expression had softened. She actually seemed happy about the fact that we were arguing.

The tension was finally broken, and lunch continued peacefully. It was nice to know my family didn't reject me when I had done that to them.

Eventually, we said our good-byes, and I headed out. I told Bebe I would be back by three. I didn't want her to worry. I already worried her enough.

The walk back was short and uneventful.

"I'm back!" I called as I entered the house.

"Hey, how did it go?"

"Awkward, but still good."

"Ah, I see." Bebe paused a moment. "You actually made great timing. I dunno if you're actually considering it or if you just said that so I wouldn't bother you, but I found a building you could open the flower shop in. I could help you fix it up and everything."

I thought about it. _It'll be a distraction. I can actually do something with my life other than mourn and be pitiful..._

"What place did you have in mind?"

She smiled, her face practically lighting up. "Care to take another walk?"

"Sure, why not."

She grabbed her keys off the counter and put on her coat then led the way out. She shivered a bit, pulling her coat tighter.

We made small talk. She pointed out buildings, and told me what had changed over the years.

I was thankful that we didn't have to go by Tweak Bros. Bebe probably avoided it purposefully, but it didn't matter to me.

Eventually, we came to a red, rundown building. A window was busted out and the outside wall had some things from stupid kids playing with spray paint. In a way, I felt drawn towards it. I wasn't sure why.

"We can go in, if you want," Bebe said.

I nodded and stepped inside. The building hadn't been touched in decades, as far as I knew. It was my first time being inside after seeing it for so many years as a kid. There was one large room, even bigger than the flower shop I had with Tweek, and door that presumably led to a back room.

"This will definitely need a lot of work..." I turned to her. "Do you promise to help me set up? I can't do this on my own."

"So that's a yes?" she asked hopefully.

"Only if you help."

"Then it's a deal."


	4. Long Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter about two weeks ago, but never got around to posting it here. I'll use this opportunity to advertise my Wattpad haha. I usually update there before anywhere else. I also post original stuff, so go follow me if you want. The username is frecklesandstardust.

The day after my second late night meeting with Kenny was utterly exhausting. No matter how much I slept, I felt like I needed more sleep. Eventually, Bebe forced me out of bed so that we could actually get something done that day.

Apparently she had talked to Kenny about the flower shop and he volunteered to help us. So, by around three, he was waiting for us.

He was leaning against the wall, doing something on his phone while he waited. When he looked up at us, he gave us a crooked grin like he always did.

He stood as I unlocked the building. I heard a whistle from behind as we walked in, which I presumed was Kenny.

No kidding, I thought. The place seemed to have gotten worse compared to the last time we were there.

Bebe clapped her hands to get our attention. "Alright, let's get down to business."

We hauled out junk laying around, swept floors, scrubbed dirt from hard to reach places, and didn't stop until we were all too exhausted.

We were all sweaty and covered in dust by then. I wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep, but Kenny and Bebe seemed to be proud of our work.

The place was still pretty dirty, and needed electricity and some furnishings, but it already looked better.

I stepped outside to take a break, letting out a sigh of relief as the cold air met my skin. It was amazing how cold it could be in that building and we still got sweaty. Our jackets had been shed long ago, and our sleeves were rolled up as far as they would go, but it still wasn't enough. I could only imagine how bad it would be to work in the summer.

I sat against the wall by the entrance, an uncapped waterbottle held loosely in my hand. My eyes instantly seemed to be getting heavier. Unable to resist, I shut them. I needed sleep, and my location didn't matter to me in that moment.

I heard the door open and someone settle beside me a few minutes later. "You're tired too, huh?"

"Yeah, that's kind of what happens when you don't get any sleep," I mumbled.

"Guess so," he said under his breath.

We sat in silence, watching our breath cloud up and dissipate. It was welcomed. Neither of us had ever been ones to talk much.

The door opened again after a few minutes. Bebe came into view, her hand on her hip.

"Both of you are going to get sick," she scolded.

"But it feels nice out here," I protested meekly. Kenny nodded in agreement.

She shook her head, as if she couldn't believe us. "You two are crazy. We should just call it a day before your brains turn to muscle from all the work we've done. I already have that problem with Clyde."

I chuckled at that, and reluctantly stood up. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go."

We said goodbye to Kenny before heading home. The first thing I did was plop down in bed. Somehow, I'd managed to fall asleep.

xxx

I paced, my cheeks streaked with tears, and my lip bleeding from where I had been chewing it. The ambulance was still wailing, and it only made my head feel like it was splitting apart.

I'd been pulled away from the now unconscious blond. If not for the deep red staining his clothes and hair, it would have looked like he was in a peaceful sleep. I knew better. He was being put into the ambulance on a stretcher. They began hooking all kinds of machines up to him, trying to keep him alive. Some part of me already knew he was going to die, but I hoped that wouldn't be true.

It was a blur between then and when I got to the hospital. I had a concussion, a large bruise across my collar bone from my seatbelt, and several cuts from the shattered glass of the windshield.

I was still panicking, trying to call Clyde from the waiting room. We were hours away and I hadn't talked to him in forever, but I needed someone. On the fifth call, he picked up. I rushed out an explanation and gave him the hospital name. There was no way he was going to get there that night, though. It was already one in the morning.

After hanging up, a doctor called my name. I rushed over, hoping for good news, but that was instantly crushed when I saw the look on his face.

"I'm sorry, we did all we could, but it seems it wasn't enough. Tweek is dead."

xxx

At nearly midnight, I woke up in a cold sweat. My mouth was dry, my stomach was churning, and I realized I'd been crying. It seemed as if the dream only continued to get more vivid, like my mind was slowly piecing things together and realizing what had happened that night.

All the emotions had come rushing back. All the anger, fear, guilt, and the realization I would never see Tweek's smiling face again.

I forced myself to stand to go get some water when I noticed a note on my night stand.

Sorry I didn't wake you for dinner. I figured you needed your rest since you haven't been sleeping lately. There's a plate for you in the fridge if you're hungry.  
-Bebe

I didn't feel hungry. I felt more sick than anything.

As I crept out of the bedroom, I noticed that the TV in the living room was on. Clyde was sitting in front of the TV, watching some old show on Disney Channel.

"What are you doing up?" I asked.

He practically had a heart attack, jumping so high he nearly fell off the couch as he clutched his chest. He looked me over, relieved that it was only me. "I don't work tomorrow and I couldn't sleep just yet," he said with a shrug.

I sat on the couch next to him, trying to figure out what show was playing.

All the while, he was studying me. Finally, he spoke up. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"You could say that," I mumbled. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. "I can't stop thinking about him, y'know?"

He nodded. "Losing people is hard, man. I remember losing my mom, it felt like my whole world was falling apart." He paused, as if remembering something. "But you were there for me, even on the days when all I could do was cry and blame myself. So I'm gonna be here for you."

I was a bit taken aback at first. Clyde was rarely serious, but you would always know he meant what he said when he was. "Thanks." I paused, letting out a sigh. "I don't know what I'd do if you hadn't picked up that night. I was an idiot for cutting everyone off like that."

"We'll always be friends, even if you don't ever talk to me again." He smiled softly at me.

I knew he hadn't meant to, but he made me feel guilty. I knew I made people worry. I knew it was a bad choice, yet I still chose it. Now I was stuck fixing broken relationships while trying to keep myself together.

"I don't understand why everyone is so willing to forgive me for what I did," I mumbled.

"We all make stupid decisions. Some more than others. Not everyone is going to forgive you, but people like me and Bebe and your parents know you. We care about you. That's why we forgive you," he said, attention no longer on the television.

I processed that for a moment before finally speaking up, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Why do we always get deep in the middle of the night?"

He chuckled. "I dunno. Maybe it's a sign that we should get some sleep."

"Maybe. Thanks for talking to me. It helps sometimes."

"No problem, man. Now go get some rest. I'm sure Bebe will keep you busy tomorrow." He stood and stretched. 

I did the same, letting out a sigh. "Don't even mention it. That building needs a lot of work. Even with Kenny helping, it's gonna take forever."

"It'll be worth it in the end, though."

I nodded. Some part of me told me that he was right, even if I didn't wholly believe it.

We said good night to each other and headed to our rooms.

I didn't sleep much. I kept tossing and turning. The dream still bothered me. I knew it was real, and I couldn't shake the feelings that I had that night in the ER.

Morning sunlight was peeking through the curtains before I knew it. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Lack of sleep was putting a physical strain on me, and I already had enough to deal with emotionally. I didn't want to get out of bed. A voice told me I should, to force myself, put on an act so that I wouldn't worry the others, but I didn't move from my place. I felt like I was at my limit.

Bebe and Clyde came in a few times to try to persuade me, but eventually gave up when they realized I wasn't moving. Even when my stomach growled, I remained in bed.

I wasn't even really doing anything. I just laid there, staring at the wall, letting the past swallow me whole and take me back again.

At one point, I came back to reality at the mention of my name. It was Bebe's voice. She wasn't far from my room, but if it weren't for the thin walls, I wouldn't have been able to hear her. 

"Yeah, no work today. Craig's not feeling well...No, I don't know what's wrong. He's not running a fever and he won't speak to me." She paused as if debating something. "I guess. You probably won't get much out of him, though." Then her voice stopped and I heard her walk off.

About half an hour later, I heard a knock at the door. I didn't bother looking over, figuring it was Bebe or Clyde. The door slowly creaked open.

"Craig?" a familiar voice called softly. It was Kenny.

I shuffled a bit but otherwise made no effort to make myself noticed.

I heard the rustling of a plastic bag and soft footsteps followed by feeling a weight beside me on the bed. "You gonna get up?"

I shook my head.

"That's a shame. I brought ice cream," he said, obviously trying to persuade me.

Nonetheless, ice cream did sound pleasing.

"It's your favorite, too," he continued.

I moved the blanket aside to look at him. I knew it was an attempt to get me to confide in someone. I wanted nothing more than to shut myself off, despite my better judgement. 

"You gonna get up?" he asked.

"Maybe," I mumbled.

"I'll go get spoons. Sit up and you can have some ice cream. I'm not gonna force you, but at least try to get out of bed or tell us what's wrong." He then stood and went out the door.

After a moment or two of arguing with myself, I forced myself to sit up.

I looked at the half-gallon tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and couldn't help but think back to the times that Kenny and I would bitch about life over ice cream like pre-teen girls.

Kenny soon returned with two spoons in hand. He handed one to me and opened up the ice cream.

We sat in silence a while, sharing ice cream from the tub. Eventually, I spoke up.

"Bebe sent you, didn't she?"

"Huh?"

"She's worried and knows I won't talk to her about it anymore because I feel like a burden so she sent you, thinking that you'll get me to tell you what's wrong. I overheard part of the phone conversation."

"Oh, that! I came here because you're my friend, not because of Bebe. She had just called to tell me we wouldn't meet up today. I was the one that had this idea," he explained. "I just wanted to make you feel better. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He shrugged, eating another spoonful of ice cream.

I nodded, mumbling out an awkward "thanks." I debated whether or not to tell Kenny. If I told him one thing, I'd have to tell him everything. I had to admit, I was scared to tell anyone. I didn't want pity. I already got enough of that from Bebe, Clyde, and my family. I didn't want people knowing more about me than they should. What was between Tweek and I stayed between us, and for good reason.

I looked over at Kenny to see him studying me. I didn't mind much. I was used to him going silent to examine little details. "What's that look for?" he asked.

"What look?" I asked.

"You get all spacey, like you're stuck in a different world or something." He furrowed his eyebrows, continuing to study my face. "You do that a lot. You look sad most of the time, too."

I shrugged. "Just got a lot on my mind," I said vaguely.

"That's code for 'don't pry.' Got it." He took another spoonful of ice cream. "Just remember I'm here for you," he spoke around the spoon, words distorted a bit.

"I've been hearing that a lot lately," I mumbled.

"People care about you, man. You've never really been able to see that," Kenny answered.

"Why do people care, though? I'm an asshole."

"You're a lovable asshole," he said, giggling slightly. "And it's hard to get rid of people who have been best friends with you since elementary. Or high school friends who have no concept of time passing." He gestured to himself on that last bit. "Graduation seems like it was just yesterday," he said with a small laugh.

"Don't go turning into an old man. You sound like my dad. He still wears his high school letterman sometimes," I said, laughing softly. 

"I'll leave Clyde to be that guy," he replied.

We made small talk after that, the tension dispersed. Eventually, he coaxed me out of the room. He ended up staying for dinner, and went home after checking one last time that I was okay.

"Is it bad that it feels like a long and busy day even when I've done literally nothing?" I asked Bebe that night.

She shook her head. "You're grieving. It's going to be hard. It's going to be exhausting, but you've got to push through it. For now, though, you should get some rest.

I nodded and stood up off the couch. After changing, I headed off to bed.

The strange thing was, I didn't have another nightmare. I wasn't sure if I was too tired to dream or if my subconscious had given it a rest for the night. Either way, I was greatful to have at least one full night's sleep.


	5. Late Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sorry for the late update. I've been procrastinating a lot, and I kind of already feel like this story is a bit subpar, so I haven't worked on it much.

I lit up my phone once again to check the time. Only 3 minutes had passed since the last time. The white numbers on the screen read 3:57. I locked the screen and rolled over with a sigh.

Thinking back, I always did have trouble sleeping, but lately, it seemed impossible.

Usually, on nights like this, I had company. Tweek would worry himself sick, and he never could sleep if he overthought the smallest thing. We'd talk about everything and nothing all at once. Our sleep deprived minds helped us to fill the nights with talks of the universe, our existence, giggles that came for no reason, and quick kisses. In the morning, it all felt like just a dream, though the energy drain proved that it wasn't.

I shut my eyes. I had to sleep. Bebe and I were going to that little building again to clean it up later in the afternoon. It wouldn't be good to go without sleep.

No matter how much I tried, though, I couldn't sleep. My mind kept shifting to Tweek. I missed him. I missed his laugh, his bright green eyes, his messy blond hair, the taste of coffee on his lips, the feeling of his heart beating against my chest when I held him. I didn't think I'd have to live without him until he was taken from me, and it felt like I was not only mourning the loss of him, but also the loss of some part of myself.

Giving up, I climbed out of bed. I pulled on my shoes and hat, stuffing my phone in my pocket as well. I needed fresh air. I needed a distraction.

I wrote a quick message to Bebe and Clyde in case either of them woke up before I got back. Then, I headed out the door.

South Park is small, and everybody knows everybody. At night, it seemed so eerie. The only sound is the crickets chirping and my feet crunching through the snow.

During the day, the town was bustling and people were always stopping to have a casual friendly chat. News gets around fast that way. Everyone whispered about me behind my back, starting rumors about why I was there. Very few people actually knew. Tweek's family weren't ones to tell anyone about what happened behind closed doors. For once, I was grateful for that. Some people asked about Tweek, and the very mention of his name felt like a knife stabbed into my back.

I shook off those thoughts and continued walking. My body knew where I was going, though my mind didn't. I thought I was just aimlessly walking, but I'd ended up at Stark's Pond.

I was nearly frozen to the bone at that point. In hindsight, I should have worn more than just a t-shirt and some sweatpants. For some reason, wearing a jacket was something that had completely slipped my mind. I was hardly prepared, but I didn't feel like going back.

So, I sat on the pier and watched the dark icy waters below. The slight breeze made waves in the otherwise calm water.

I thought back to when we were kids. We used to ice skate whenever the water finally froze over and had thick enough ice. Tweek was always scared to fall and crack the ice or worse, actually fall through. Of course, that never happened. He always clung to me for support as we skated. He was like a deer learning to walk as he clambered and attempted to keep his balance.

I chuckled at the memory. My breath escaped me, appearing like the smoke from cigarettes. That was a habit Tweek scolded me for until the very day I quit; smoking.

I let out a sigh, running my hands through my hair in frustration. "There I go again. This isn't helping at all."

I heard footsteps on the wood, approaching me. This caused me to stop and turn to see a familiar blond.

"We meet again," he said, flashing a crooked grin. He sat down next to me.

"Seems so," I mumbled. The last time I'd seen Kenny was in the exact place and under similar circumstances; I needed a distraction but I only thought of Tweek.

"So what brings you back to South Park?"

It seemed out of the blue, but I didn't mind that much. Kenny was known for asking questions like that aproposed to nothing.

I shrugged in response. "Needed a change in scenery, I guess," I said as nonchalantly as I could.

"Looks to me like the change in scenery is doing more bad than good." He paused. "Insomnia again?"

I nodded. It was weird that we hadn't talked in years, but it felt like no time had passed. He remembered the things I told him back in high school, the things that most people never even knew. I somehow felt that he was used to getting pushed away, which is why he accepted me again so easily. For years, people barely even knew he existed, even with the colors he wore.

He changed the subject before he dug too deep. "Aren't you cold?" he asked, looking me over.

"No, I'm burning up," I remarked sarcastically. I was visibly shivering, and my teeth were chattering. Of course I was cold.

He slipped his jacket off and draped if over my shoulders. It was the same vibrant orange color he always seemed to wear. I wondered how he could even stand it. "No need to be an ass."

I gripped the sides of the jacket, pulling it closer and wrapping it around myself like a blanket.

We sat in silence, watching the water together. It was peaceful.

I snuck glances at Kenny every once in a while. He looked different, but not drastically so. He had gained weight, and was no longer just skin and bones. He looked clean, no signs of dirt or stains on his t-shirt. His hair was longer, reaching just past the base of his neck, though it was as messy as ever. I didn't think that would ever change. He had a tattoo on his left arm, but I could only see the bottom of it, so I couldn't tell what it was. Just by looking at him, you could tell he was better off than two years ago.

Kenny had always been a bit odd. It was like he knew what you were going to say before you even said it. He was perpetually bored with life, yet exhilarated by small things. He was a walking paradox, and even confused those who were closest to him.

Nonetheless, he was kind, and always seemed to know when someone was bothered, even if they showed no signs of it. But now, he seemed almost puzzled by something.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer," he said, giving me another crooked grin.

I hadn't realized I was staring, and quickly snapped my head back to the water.

He let out a soft laugh and continued trying to make small talk. "So I heard from the landlord that you and Bebe are gonna rent the building across the street."

"Yeah, we have to clean it up first. That's what we're supposed to be doing tomorrow. Well, today, actually," I explained.

"What are you gonna use it for?"

I felt my cheeks burn at the thought of admitting it. Either that or it was just the cold. Probably both. "A flower shop," I mumbled.

"I never saw you as a florist," he commented.

"That's what everybody says."

It was like we were trying to ignore the elephant in the room. We both knew that Tweek hadn't come back, and his disappearance was the burning question that everyone wanted to ask, but didn't for fear of upsetting me. Part of me wished someone would just ask instead of walking on eggshells, while another part of me was scared to break down.

Silence befell us again. I didn't know if seconds, minutes, or even hours had passed. Nothing existed to me except those deep, dark waters that held fear yet beauty as they reflected the night sky above.

Car headlights broke the reflection. I heard a door open and feet crunching in the snow.

Turning, I saw a girl in her pajamas with a mess of blonde hair. Bebe. Clyde soon followed. She looked as if she were going to cry.

I stood and she ran to me, wrapping me in her warm embrace.

"Craig, oh my god," she breathed out. "I- we were so worried. I got up to get some water and when I went to check on you you weren't there and I saw your note but I didn't know where you went so I looked all around town and-" she was sobbing before she could finish. Her words ran together and she held me tight as if I would slip away like sand through an hourglass. She reluctantly pulled away eventually after she had calmed down. She shifted her gaze, looking past me to see Kenny staring awkwardly.

"Why were you two out here? It's the middle of the night, dude," Clyde said, beating Bebe to it.

"I- um," I could barely form a sentence. I wasn't expecting them to come looking for me. Did they think I would go and off myself in the woods at night or what? Part of me wanted to be angry at the fact that they would even think that, but I knew I shouldn't be mad that they're concerned, even if they can be a bit overbearing.

Kenny cut in. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on here, but whatever you think happened, didn't. He's perfectly safe."

I finally found my voice. "I just- um, I couldn't sleep. I needed some fresh air and-"

"In the middle of the night? What were you thinking?" Bebe questioned.

"I-I don't know...I'm sorry," I mumbled. I felt like a child being faced with disappointed parents.

"Let's just get you home. We all need some sleep," Clyde said. "You should get home, too, Kenny."

I turned to look at him. He looked confused, maybe even a bit guilty. "Yeah...Take care, Craig. We should catch up again sometime," he said awkwardly, almost mechanically, as if it were a programmed phrase.

I nodded and slipped his jacket off my shoulders. "You should take this back." I held it out to him, already beginning to shiver.

He took it as he made his way off the dock and towards his home. Not another word was exchanged as Bebe and Clyde escorted me to the car.

I'd fallen asleep in the car on the ride back, which was saying something considering it was only a five minute drive. I had only been stirred awake by failed attempts to get me to go in the house. I assumed they had given up when I felt myself being lifted out of the seat as I drifted off again.

I had a feeling I was going to get used to long nights like that.


	6. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An author's note that no one's even gonna read.

You might have noticed by the title that this is going on indefinite hiatus. This isn't my only work that is. I haven't had the inspiration for this and other works in months. That, and I'm stressed out by school and have no time to even think about updating regularly. Maybe one day, I'll pick this back up, but I'm not sure yet.

I'm still active. I write quite a bit, I just don't publish anything. If you're interested in my original or older works, you can find me on wattpad under the username crybaby-robot. I'll be posting little oneshots and stuff when I can during my hiatus. I also roleplay if that interests anyone. You can message me about pretty much anything. My inbox is always open.

Until next time, whenever that may be.


End file.
